Burial: awaiting our own resurrections

By John Sponsel
In the work I do, about half the families I assist are dealing with the recent death of a loved one. After my first few months as director, I was asked by a friend if there was anything about the job that really surprised me. Two things came to mind:

• Many families (actually, the majority of people I meet) seem to hold it all together while moving through this crushing experience. I listen to their stories and marvel at their strength and composure.

• The other thing that has surprised me was an occasional dismissiveness if not outright disrespect for the body. Some, including Catholics, use words that seem to minimize the value of the body: “Well, life is done, it’s not really that important what we do with the remains.” “No one will ever visit my grave anyway,” “No need to provide a vase for me, there will be no flowers.”

I am saddened by these comments and their accompanying sense of hopelessness.

I’m also surprised by the vast difference in attitude toward the human body reflected here.

Respect for the body after death

There is so much hope we are missing out on. I would like to refer back to our Catholic faith to make a few points:

• We respect the body because it is essential to the very being of the human person. It is with our bodies that we laugh and love and learn, that we serve and grow, and that we sin and fail. It only makes sense that body and soul would be rejoined in the future.

• Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit and it is through our bodies that, in the words of C.S. Lewis, we practice love, truth, beauty, goodness, and justice. The body of the deceased is the same body that was consecrated to Christ in baptism, was a temple of the Holy Spirit, and received Holy Communion. The fact that the soul separates from the body at death is the result of Original Sin. Such separation was not the intention of creation.

• Our bodies and souls are intimately joined in all the acts and decisions of this life. At death, we treat the body with respect because it is essential to the person who has died, and this is the body that will be resurrected on the last day. For this reason, our church, based on Christ’s teachings and tradition, encourages us to participate in the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy:

Burying the dead, attending funerals, visiting graves, and praying for the dead and dying.

Over the past 10 months, I’ve thought much about the opposing attitudes I’ve encountered. Many people who had just lost a parent, a spouse, or a child (coming sometimes singly but often in groups), were composed and at times even serene. Why was this? These losses are heart-rending and in some cases, indelible. Where did the strength and poise come from? What brought them here and what were they looking for?

I don’t know about the interpersonal relationships within the various families, although many seemed to have some type of support when meeting with me, which could only help.

I’ve thought much about what I’ve seen in the intervening months and would like to make this observation:

Although each individual or family had their own crisis, there seemed to be some common elements:

• They wished to provide a final resting place in a sacred space to which they could return.

• They came to us at the Catholic cemeteries because they had been here before, or knew of someone else who had been here, or had been directed here by an acquaintance or one of the many local funeral homes.

• They wanted to reverence their deceased.

• They wanted to be able to pray for their dead.

• If they were not Catholic, they understood that they were still welcome at our cemeteries.

Whether motivated by an understanding of the fundamental dignity of the human person, faith learned at the knee of a parent or grandparent, or an acceptance of the infinite in confronting death, there was often a recognition that there is more at work here than is seen on the surface. Hope accompanied this realization.

The sanctity of the body

I write these things because there is so much in our culture that is challenging our belief in the sanctity of the body and the promise of life after death. If you were raised in a Catholic family you were probably encouraged to attend funerals of friends and relatives. Nightly you may have prayed for the poor souls in purgatory and maybe understood plenary indulgences.

I write this to encourage you to bring your children and your grandchildren to funerals and our Catholic cemeteries, those holy places of prayer and remembrance. There they may learn to honor the customs of families and visitors expressing love and devotion for departed loved ones.

This will build a foundation of hope which, as they mature, your children will be able to cling to as they encounter their own difficulties in life.

Finally, I ask you to pray for the dead and the dying. One suggestion, memorize the prayer for the dead: Eternal rest, grant unto him/her O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him/her. May s/he rest in peace. Amen. May his/her soul and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.

For a detailed explanation about indulgences consult the Catechism or visit vatican.va and search for “Indulgentiarum Doctrina”.