Couples invited to enhance their lifelong adventure together
Want to enhance your adventure?
“Gear for the Traverse” Adventures in Marriage will be presented from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. Saturday, Sept. 14, in The Ville at St. Vincent de Paul Parish in Andover. To register visit https://buytickets.at/marriageandfamilylife/1169210. For more information, call 316-685-5240 or email [email protected].
By Jake Samour
I have often compared married life to a journey or a lifelong adventure. After almost 20 years of marriage and nearly the same in marriage and family ministry, I think it better to liken marriage to a traverse – the grandest of all traverses. This metaphor brings forth a new set of questions and insights. Where are we traversing? Who is leading the traverse? How do we get there? What resources – equipment, gear, directions – are we counting on? What are the essentials to making it through this life-long journey to get across the finish line?
Marriage destination: heaven
In any traverse, the destination is clear and compelling. For marriage, the destination is heaven, union with God. To get there, it requires a shared vision of a fulfilling, loving, and enduring partnership of life and love. This vision encompasses growing in holiness, mutual support, and achieving dreams together. It is about building a life that both spouses can look back on with confidence and joy, knowing they have traversed the path together, hand in hand, accomplishing God’s will in their lives.
To complete any traverse, all racers must have strong abilities in a variety of disciplines, including lots of uphill and downhill skills, as well as cross-country. In short, this is not your typical race. The same applies to marriage. Both partners need to have a strong set of skills and take turns leading and following, guiding each other through the difficulties of married life. Navigating in marriage is not about power or who does it better; it is about cooperation and mutual respect, love, and fidelity. Each spouse brings unique strengths, perspectives, and skills to the table, and together, they navigate the complexities of life. Effective communication, trust, and the willingness to support one another are crucial in this shared journey.
Marriage is full of twists, turns
We all know that the path of marriage is rarely straight or smooth. It involves twists, turns, and occasional obstacles. Successful traversing requires a map – a well-thought-out plan that includes setting goals, making sacrifices, and continually adjusting to new circumstances. This road is not static, family life evolves as the relationship grows, children are welcomed, and life becomes more about them. Couples must be flexible and willing to adapt, keeping their ultimate destination in mind while navigating the terrain of everyday family life.
What resources are we counting on? Just as a traverse requires specific equipment and gear, a successful marriage relies on essential resources. These include communication skills, emotional support, effective conflict resolution strategies, shared values and beliefs, particularly in raising children, and investing quality time in the relationship to strengthen their bond and foster intimacy. Beyond the tangible resources, the essentials for a successful marriage traverse include a steadfast commitment to the relationship, especially during challenging times, which is crucial for the longevity of “all the days of my life.”
It’s indissoluble
Within this indissoluble commitment to one another, there is a profound gift: a new measure of conjugal love. This love is more than a mere emotional or physical connection; it is a spiritual bond that reflects the very love between Christ and his church. God’s grace and his divine assistance transform the spouses’ human love into a powerful reflection of Christ’s unwavering and sacrificial love.
Furthermore, Christ himself assists the couple throughout their entire life. He is the source of the grace present in their marriage, which allows spouses to show frequent expressions of love and affection, forgive one another, bear one another’s burdens, and keep the emotional connection strong. At the same time, he gives them patience and understanding to help them navigate difficult moments with grace and empathy.
Excel in your marriage
Want to excel in your traverse? This fall, take the opportunity to learn more about your particular traverse and equip yourselves with all that God wants to offer you to prepare for not only a successful marriage but also one that will lead you both into a lifelong journey of joy, peace, and love, even amid the trials and unforeseen circumstances that life throws at you.
Samour is the director of the Office of Marriage and Family Life.