Connection adds depth and texture to pro-life perspective
By Heather Wiens
When I became Executive Director of A Better Choice this spring, it felt like a confirmation of a calling God had been forming in me for years. Although my pro-life convictions have always been strong, my understanding of what it truly means to walk alongside women in crisis has deepened over time – through experience, relationship, and one story in particular that reshaped how I see both motherhood and ministry.
As an adult, I married my husband, and together we were blessed with three wonderful boys. We knew our family wasn’t quite complete, and God opened the door for us to adopt two beautiful daughters from Korea. Even then, we felt a continued call to serve children and families in crisis, which eventually led us into foster care.
Through foster care, we welcomed both emergency and long-term placements into our home. Along the way, something unexpected happened: we began building relationships with birth parents. For the first time, I saw the struggles that often exist behind the scenes. I began to understand how easily parents can become overwhelmed and how desperately many need support rather than judgment.
It was through those relationships that God changed the story of our lives in a way I never could have imagined.
Ashlee’s story
Ashlee came into our lives during one of the most difficult seasons she had ever faced. She was parenting three young children, working to stay employed, and navigating the heavy reality of an abusive relationship. Amid all of that, she was also trying to care for her infant daughter, Aliah, while carrying burdens no mother should have to carry alone.
We first welcomed Aliah into our home when she was just 8 weeks old. For the first year of her life, she moved back and forth between our home and Ashlee’s. During that time, we stayed closely connected with Ashlee, doing what we could to support her in stabilizing her life and caring for her children.
After about a year, the father of her children went to prison. In the aftermath, Ashlee made another difficult but loving decision: she allowed us to obtain guardianship of Aliah so we could enroll her in daycare, take her to medical appointments, and provide more consistent care. It was a step born out of necessity, stability, and love for her daughter’s well-being.
Life continued in layers of complexity for Ashlee as she worked to care for her other children and rebuild stability in the midst of ongoing challenges. Through it all, she remained connected to Aliah.
When Aliah was about two and a half years old, Ashlee came to my home and asked to meet with me. I remember that conversation clearly. She sat with me and, with courage and clarity that I still admire, told me she wanted us to adopt her daughter.
We were overwhelmed and deeply grateful. We also understood the weight of what she was choosing. This was not a loss of love, but an expression of it, formed through years of struggle, honesty, and a desire to give her daughter the most stable future possible.
After three years of walking through this journey together, Ashlee made the final decision to ask us to adopt Aliah.
Ashlee later shared more about that moment in her own words:
“I felt it was the right decision due to where I was at in life, struggling with 3 kids and also dealing with an abusive relationship. I did not want to invite another child into that environment. I also knew I didn’t have the mental capacity to care for a newborn. I felt like it was also right because you guys had been helping me care for her the first year of her life and that would have been confusing and also heartbreaking to pull her away from the stability that she was given. I knew she was in good hands and that she was with a family who could show her and has been showing her love and comfort.”
When Aliah was three years old, we were able to legally adopt her.
That experience, and Ashlee’s story in particular, transformed how I understand what it means to be pro-life.
For many years, I believed being pro-life was primarily about preventing abortion. While that conviction remains, God showed me something deeper: Most women already love their children deeply. They are not making decisions from indifference, but from pressure, fear, instability, trauma, and isolation. Their love is often present even in the middle of overwhelming circumstances.
What is often missing is not love for the child, but support for the mother.
That is why I am so grateful to serve as the executive director of A Better Choice.
For more than 30 years, A Better Choice has been meeting women where they are, providing support, education, resources, and hope so they can confidently choose life for their babies. Every day, I have the privilege of working alongside an incredible team committed to that mission.
When I look back over my life, I can see God’s hand in every step, every child, every adoption, every foster placement, every relationship that slowly reshaped my understanding of compassion and care. He was preparing me for this work long before I understood it.
Today, our youngest adopted daughter, Aliah, is eleven years old. We continue to stay connected with Ashlee and her other children, celebrating milestones and sharing life in a way that reflects both love and grace. It is not a simple story, but it is a beautiful one.
To me, this is what being pro-life looks like. It is not simply saying yes to a baby; it is saying yes to a mother. It is walking alongside her when life feels impossible and reminding her she is not alone.
I have seen firsthand the beauty that can come when women are surrounded by support, compassion, and hope. It is an incredible privilege to help provide that hope through A Better Choice, and I am grateful every day to be part of this life-changing ministry.
Heather Wiens is executive director of A Better Choice.
