Thursday, 19 January 2012 13:59

By Christopher M. Riggs
Father Ken Van Haverbeke says many families have an elephant in the room. It’s wearing a banner: internet pornography.
He said in an interview last week that pornography and other sins against chastity are subjects priests are often hesitant to speak about it.“They are reluctant even though we hear about it in the confessional almost all the time. It is a difficult sin to confront.”
Father Van Haverbeke, director of the Spiritual Life Center and director of the diocesan Stewardship Office, recalled Michael Casey’s book, “Strangers to the City,” in which Casey wonders: “If there were an annual prize of $1 million for the most chaste person in the world how many would submit their names?”
Casey adds: “Most of us feel that our hold on this virtue is tenuous, at best, and liable to be temporary.”
Father Van Haverbeke said he never would have imagined when he was ordained that we would begin a ministry fighting Internet pornography and pornography in general, but its availability today is pervasive.“Yesteryear pornography was obtained outside the home in dark alleyways, ” he said, “but when I’m hearing of boys and girls, men, and women who are struggling with pornography in the home which should be a sacred place – then you know it needs to be addressed. Pornography is an addictive evil full of lies. Remember Satan is the father of lies!“
Last year Fr. Van Haverbeke established an email address “ This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it ” for those with issues related to chastity and recruited priests across the diocese to assist him in the effort.
“Oftentimes people just don’t know how to approach a priest in spiritual counsel,” he said. “I asked my brother priests which ones of them would be comfortable and educated to be able to counsel people with sins of impurity.”
When those in need of help contact Fr. Van Haverbeke, he asks what area of the diocese they live in and then connects them with a priest in that vicinity.
“You really can’t deal with it by yourself,” he said. “Satan wants you to think that you can but you really cannot – you need the help of a spiritual advisor.”
Fr. Van Haverbeke said pornography is pervasive. “We are so in tune with all this technology – it makes it so available, so accessible. And any time a near occasion of sin is so available and so accessible it’s going to be a problem.”
Husbands and wives using pornography are sabotaging their marriage, he said. “It undermines a marriage, it drives the legs out from underneath a good, healthy marriage.”Pornography is nothing new, Fr. Van Haverbeke said, but the availability and accessibility is.
Those involved in sins against chastity also need to beware of what Pope Benedict often speaks about: the sins of presumption, “God understands, so it doesn’t matter,” and the sin of despair, “I’m never going to be able to defeat this,” when in fact with God’s grace, you can.
“Both of those sins are from the devil,” he said.

How to contact a priest for help
Those who need help for sings against chastity may email “ This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .” Father Ken Van Haverbeke will reply with contact information for a priest in your area of the Diocese of Wichita.

Video series under production
The Catholic Advance is producing a series of video presentations with suggestions about overcoming pornography by Fr. Van Haverbeke. The presentations will be at the diocesen YouTube site: youtube.com/dioceseofwichita.