Are you and yours soul-mates or divided spirits?

Are you and your spouse “in the same pew”?
By Susan Vogt
Couples don’t have to belong to the same religion to be compatible spiritually – but it helps. Even those who do profess the same faith may have different degrees of commitment. Knowing what your deepest beliefs are and how your spouse is similar or different, however, is the start of becoming soul-mates.
Circle the answer that best fits you. Then star the answer you think fits your spouse (boy/girlfriend, fiancé/fiancée). Have your spouse do the same with a different color of ink.. See how well you know each other and where potential tension resides.

1. I believe in God. (Yes No Unsure)
2. I believe that Jesus Christ is God. (Yes No Unsure)
3. I don’t believe in a specific God but embrace a spiritual dimension of life. (Yes No Unsure)
4. I was raised in a religious home. (Yes No Unsure)
5. Organized religion is important to me. (Yes No Unsure)
6. I think it is important to follow as many practices of my faith as is humanly possible. (Yes No Unsure)
7. I think it is more important to follow the spirit of the law than its details. (Yes No Unsure)
8. I believe in miracles, grace, and a loving God. (Yes No Unsure)
9. I believe that there is sin and evil in the world and that God will punish transgressors. (Yes No Unsure)
10. I believe in an afterlife. (Yes No Unsure)
11. I find support and solace in prayer. (Yes No Unsure)
12. Good music at religious services is important to me. (Yes No Unsure)
13. Inspirational preaching is important to me. (Yes No Unsure)
14. Going to religious services is a sign of neediness and a weak mind. (Yes No Unsure)
15. I see God in nature and the goodness of other people. (Yes No Unsure)
16. I’m turned off by the hypocrisy of some institutionalized religions. (Yes No Unsure)
17. I believe that working for a more just and caring society is an essential part of religion. (Yes No Unsure)
18. I believe that working for a more just and caring society is a worthy substitute for religion. (Yes No Unsure)
19. The “Golden Rule” is all one needs. (Yes No Unsure)
20. I wish my spouse was more (or less) religious. (Yes No Unsure)
21. My spouse and I regularly go to religious services together. (Yes No Unsure)
22. My spouse and I pray at home together. (Yes No Unsure)
Bonus questions:
The best way to spend Sunday morning is...
If my spouse and I have a difference of opinion about religion, it would be...

SCORING
Total the number of questions on which both of you agree. If you agree on:
11-22 questions — You’re of similar religious thinking and perhaps in the same pew.
6-10 questions — You may be avoiding religious issues or are in conflict over basic beliefs. You have a lot of discussion ahead of you.
0-5 questions — Religion may not be very important to you, but if it is, consider attending a marriage retreat together or talking with a pastoral counselor.

(Susan Vogt, MA, CFLE, is a freelance speaker, author, and relationship coach in the areas of marriage, parenting, and spirituality. Reprinted with permission from foryourmarriage.org and the USCCB.)

The Catechism says: (1660) The marriage covenant, by which a man and a woman form with each other an intimate communion of life and love, has been founded and endowed with its own special laws by the Creator. By its very nature it is ordered to the good of the couple, as well as to the generation and education of children.